Trust issues dating
In fact, attachment theorist John Bowlby concluded that basic trust, as defined by Erikson, is absolutely necessary for the healthy psychological development of the individual throughout the life span.
He described the secure and insecure attachment patterns identified by Mary Ainsworth in one-year-old toddlers as being strong indicators of their level of trust.
How can we best deal with events or situations that threaten to erode our trust and confidence?
According to Bowlby, “The dimenstion of security-insecurity…seems clearly to refer to the same feature of infancy that Eirkson refers to as ‘basic trust.’ As such it assesses an aspect of personality of immediate relevance to mental health.”Psychoanalyst/pediatrician D. Winnicott believed that “predictability” on the part of parents was critical to building trust in their baby.
In his book, he wrote, “Parents, and especially the mother at the start, are taking a lot of trouble to shield the child from that which is unpredictable.” According to Robert Firestone, such parents are also “characteristically warm, affectionate, and sensitive in feeding and caring for their children and offer them control, direction, and guidance as well.”There are numerous aversive childhood experiences that contribute to children’s mistrust and lack of confidence.
The betrayal of trust that occurs with child sexual abuse as well as with incidents of severe physical abuse over the long-term can trigger dissociative states in young victims.
These events can also set up expectations of future betrayals or lead to certain blind-spots in an individual’s ability to accurately judge the trustworthiness of others.
In an attempt to protect ourselves, we build a system of defenses against our pain, confusion, and disillusionment.